My Oscar Predictions

Here are my current predictions for the 87th Annual Academy Awards, or the Oscars, broadcast on ABC-TV next Sunday, February 22nd. These may be subject to change before the awards.

Best Picture: Birdman
Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Birdman
Best Actor: Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
Best Actress: Julianne Moore, Still Alice
Best Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons, Whiplash
Best Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Best Original Screenplay: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Imitation Game
Best Cinematography: Birdman
Best Costume Design: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Best Editing: Boyhood
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Best Production Design: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Best Score: The Theory of Everything
Best Song: Glory, from Selma
Best Sound Editing: American Sniper
Best Sound Mixing: Whiplash
Best Visual Effects: Interstellar
Best Animated Feature: Big Hero 6
Best Documentary Feature: Citizenfour
Best Foreign Film: Ida
Best Animated Short: Feast
Best Documentary Short: Crisis Hotline
Best Live Action Short: The Phone Call

Fifty Shades of Gray - D

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson

Rated R, 124 minutes
Wes's Grade: D

Slick and dull, this love story is just "Fifty Shades of Meh"

The new romance "Fifty Shades of Grey" is prime example of a movie based on a shocking premise and an enormous amount of hype then comes up limp in execution. Neither shocking or titillating in any way, "Fifty Shades" is a vastly unsatisfying, boring love story, and those looking for a lot of action, well you'll be disappointed. The movie details a masochistic relationship between a college student named Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and a wealthy young businessman named Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), whose desires for extreme intimacy pen from secrets in his past. Directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson ("Nowhere Boy"), written by Kelly Marcel and based on the worldwide, steamy bestseller of the same name by E.L James that threw millions of women into a tizzy yet was hardly a literary masterpiece, the slick but tedious "Fifty Shades of Grey" has some attractive leads but is mostly a limp, uninvolving affair that for a movie about S&M, has next to none in it, a remarkably tame event given its controversial premise. The glossy film sure does look good, but it lacks any twisted, playful fun and sheds very little light into Grey's backstory, and frustratingly so: "It's just the way I am!" is about as much as we get out of him, and he comes across as just a good-looking but depressed rich dude with an unusual hobby and special playroom. Dornan and Johnson (topless in many scenes, but that's about it) are both handsome enough, but the flavorless direction from Taylor-Johnson, who almost seems afraid of the source material, and the flat, redundant script from Marcel gives them little to do. There are a handful of mildly steamy, normal sex scenes, and the memorable Oscar-winner Marcia Gay Harden pops in a few minutes as Grey's adoptive mother, who seems much more fun to be around than her gloomy son. "Fifty Shades'" climax, a silly "give it to me so I can understand you more" type of thing, disappoints much more than you'd expect. "Fifty Shades of Grey" will do big business the first week out of curiosity seekers, but it should fall off heavily when word gets out what a crashing bore it is. Granted, this is a mainstream film with careful editing and discreetly handled camerawork needed to keep its R rating, and on that note, if you're looking for more excitement, you're better off renting some porn.

Kingsman: The Secret Service - B-

Rated R, 129 minutes
Wes's Grade: B-

Charming, energetic "Kingsman" is glad to have Firth as its lead spy

"Kingsman: The Secret Service" is a charming, peppy spy action comedy film that effectively blends James Bond and the MTV set and is fast-paced, often terrific fun, even if it's also overlong and predictable. Guys, put this on your list to see, either alone or after you're fifty shades of blue in the face after seeing that movie with your certain someone. The movie tells the story of a veteran secret agent (Colin Firth) in a top-secret British organization known as the Kingsman, who leads a young protégé (Taron Egerton) into the world of espionage and leading the charge against a technology tycoon (Samuel L. Jackson) who promises to change the world, and not in a good way. "Kingsman: The Secret Service" is directed and co-written by Matthew Vaughn ("Kick-Ass" and "X Men: First Class") and is loosely based on a comic book by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, should be at least a modest hit whether or not you fit into the fanboy crowd. The cast and some enjoyable action set pieces will keep you engaged throughout, which is nice considering this is an original film, though some of it's flawed. The talented cast, particularly Firth and newcomer Egerton, a British TV actor, are most memorable and sharing some nice spy teacher-student moments, and Oscar-winner Michael Caine and character actor Mark Strong deliver memorable supporting turns. Then there's Jackson, he's good but a casting choice that doesn't really work here: if you've seen the trailers you know by now he's the villain and has a distracting lisp, which is an unexplained and unfunny joke (at a recent screening, you could hear unintentional laughs each time he spoke) that is mostly just an annoyance. As for the plot, it's preposterous and entertaining and lacks the complexity of a Bond or le Carre; as fun as they are, the movie spends too much of the first act in the training sequences, rather than delving into what could've been an interesting backstory (and explaining that annoying lisp) of Jackson and his assistant Gazelle (the lovely Sofia Boutella), who is admittedly cool with her bionic steel legs she won't hesitate to cut you with. In addition, the climax goes on about 10 minutes too long, filled with some redundancies (lots of blood and bullets) and a few calculated plot twists. Even with its flaws, the winning "Kingsman: The Secret Service" is a serviceable action spy movie that works because of the charm of Firth, who's dashing as ever and can maneuver a special umbrella quite effectively, along with some of the busy special effects, blood (there's quite a bit for a spy film, hence the R rating) and gadgets that fill the movie and will certainly please the guys, who'll see this film sometime after Valentine's Day and the fifty shades of whatever finally dies down.

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water - C+

Rated PG, 93 minutes
Wes's Grade: C+

"The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water" is silly fun, but it should stay in the water

Unless you're a real fan of the "Spongebob Squarepants" animated TV series, then you're likely to be a real Krabby Pattie after seeing the silly, uneven new animated film "The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water," a sequel to the 2004 hit "Spongebob Movie" and another story that follows all the characters from the TV series. While admittedly charming and full of the normal non-sequitur nonsense loyalists of the series have come to expect, it seems to be a bait-and-switch when most of the action still takes place underwater. "Sponge Out of Water" concerns a pirate and restauranteur named Burger Beard (Antonio Banderas, doing his normal "Zorro" and "Puss in Boots" schtick), out to steal the secret Krabby Pattie recipe from Sponge Bob (Tom Kinney) and the folks at Krusty Krab, throwing Bikini Bottom into a state of chaos until Sponge Bob and his pals go on dry land to get it back. Directed by "Spongebob Squarepants" TV series producer Paul Tibbett and co-written by Glenn Burger and Jonathan Aibel ("Kung Fu Panda"), "The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water" is fun and full of energy, but also thin and hardly anything new, coming across as essentially an oversize "Spongbob" TV episode. It takes a considerable amount of time (a full hour) to get to the live-action sequences that have been prominently featured in trailers for the film, and even then, it's not as near as fun as what came before it. No pun intended, but the movie feels a little watered down by the time it gets to those last 30 minutes, zapping it of some of its trademark sharp and tongue-in-cheek humor, and it just doesn't feel the same. The target audience for "Spongebob" likely skewers a little different than Disney would, and it's anyone's guess if they follow him to dry land, where it's less amusing and less edgy (even those sarcastic talking birds aren't that funny), but they'll still likely make this inferior sequel at least a modest hit at the box-office. The silly but unnecessary "The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water" was perhaps a good idea on paper, but Spongebob should stay underwater where he belongs. For diehard fans of the series only.

Jupiter Ascending - D+

Rated PG-13, 125 minutes
Wes's Grade: D+

Time travel has never been so dumb as in the ridiculous "Jupiter Ascending"

Too bad time travel doesn't really exist, because the Wachowski's would certainly like to go back and relive their "Matrix" glory days, especially after the luck they've had with their films recently. Their new expensive ($175 million), long-delayed (I saw the first trailer for this about 18 months ago) sci-fi action thriller "Jupiter Ascending" is an unqualified, incoherent mess of a movie that is admittedly and sporadically entertaining only because of its energetic visuals and is big letdown for their fans. The film is centered on Chicagoan Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a down-on-her-luck janitor, and Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), an interplanetary warrior who informs Jones that her destiny extends beyond Earth. Their battle with a powerful alien (current Oscar-nominee Eddie Redmayne) over a youth serum could alter the balance of the universe forever. Directed, written and produced by Lana and Andy Wachowski, there is one simple word to describe "Jupiter Ascending" and that is ridiculous, in every sort of way (I just can't get Tatum's laughably pointy ears out of my head). Appealing largely to the MTV set, who will appreciate this most, this is another of their preposterous, time-traveling traipse's through time and space to save Earth and mankind and if you were confused by "Cloud Atlas," well think again, because I still didn't understand most of it. I will give the Wachowski's credit, they have a strong visual eye, and those serviceable, heavily CG-based, headache-inducing visuals highlight everything else that doesn't work: the muddled story, bad characters, acting, makeup and some vastly inane dialogue. "I have more in common with a dog than anyone," says Tatum. "I love dogs" replies Kunis. Though the appealing Kunis and Tatum are likely to easily rebound from this disaster, I feel most for Oscar contender Redmayne, whose lifeless turn whispering his lines as the milquetoast villain is as awful as his Stephen Hawking was great. I just hope this isn't terrible timing for him, and he doesn't suffer the "Norbit Curse," the early 2007 movie that all but killed Eddie Murphy's Oscar chances, because I'd hate to see him lose due to a flop like this. The laughable mess that is "Jupiter Ascending" is mildly entertaining but largely forgettable, and honestly, I'm ready to just put a fork in this turkey and call it a day. At some point in the future, this could be a so-bad-it's-good cult classic and might eventually make some money (however, to turn a decent profit, Warner Bros. and the Wachowski's should hope for good overseas returns, where it might actually play better), but like much like Tatum, whose character here is a terrible pilot with awful aim, "Jupiter Ascending" will mostly just crash and burn.

Seventh Son - D

Rated PG-13, 90 minutes
Wes's Grade: D

The dreadful, silly fantasy "Seventh Son" a forgettable experience

Well the cinematic dumping continues. I thought there was enough last month, but it continues this weekend with not one but two turkeys, the Wachowski's awful "Jupiter Ascending" and now this unbridled mess of an action movie, the silly swords-and-boots fantasy "Seventh Son." Filmed in 2012, the long-delayed film is now finding its way to haunt moviegoers to qualify for 2015's Razzie Awards, of whose voting body should sit up and take notice. Based on Joseph Delaney's novel "The Spook's Apprentice," this plays more like "The Dumbest Apprentice Ever" and is filled with enough flashy special effects to hide the flimsy story and terrible acting. Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance. Summoning her followers of every incarnation, Mother Malkin is preparing to unleash her terrible wrath on an unsuspecting world, unless Master Gregory can act quickly. He has only until the next full moon to do what usually takes years: train his new apprentice, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) to fight a dark magic unlike any other. Man's only hope lies in the seventh son of a seventh son. Directed by Sergei Bodrov ("Mongol") and co-written by Charles Leavitt and Steven Knight, this horrendous action film is so absurd even for a fantasy, and it's so badly executed it makes you wonder where it all went wrong. Apparently, it lost ground in the delays and post-production, as the finished product is nowhere near what was seemingly envisioned, with confusing gaps in narrative (jumping without explanation to another action sequence) and characters so dumb that Delaney, who wrote the novel, has to be shaking his head. It also doesn't help that Oscar-winner Bridges is badly miscast here, a crucial miscasting that really hurts the movie; Bridges, who is otherwise a fine actor, has the annoying habit of altering his voice and mouth and calling it a "character," but it just comes across as Jeff Bridges In Annoying Voice, and as played by him, Master Gregory is simply a bonehead (and Barnes' character equally dumb for following him, even if he is the seventh son, or whatever). It also reminds me that the legendary "Oscar Curse" is still very much alive, and Bridges' recent string of flops is akin to what happened to Sean Connery and Nic Cage, both of whom would jump at these take-the-money-and-run parts in action/fantasy dreck just like this. Oscar-contender Moore's chances at winning an award this year shouldn't be diminished, though this is something that will still appear on her resume, and at least she looks great strutting around in some fancy costumes and glowing red hair. One good thing: "Seventh Son" is short and sweet and moves along quickly, with loads of creatures and glossy special effects that can't hide that there really isn't much else there (and if you're going just to see "Games of Thrones" Kit Harington, it won't be for long, blink and he's gone). At best, it's dreadful and completely forgettable, so I'd wouldn't go near "Seventh Son" if I were you.

Black Sea - B

Rated R, 115 minutes
Wes's Grade: B

Tense submarine thriller "Black Sea" goes to the depths of suspense

There's just something about the close, tight quarters of submarines that tend to make for intense movies: "Das Boot," "U571" and "Crimson Tide" among them. Add the new British thriller "Black Sea" from Oscar-winning director Kevin McDonald ("The Last King of Scotland") and starring Jude Law. Suspenseful and entertaining, it doesn't work perfectly but well enough for a satisfying character-driven action film. The story centers on a rogue submarine captain (Law) who pulls together a misfit crew to go after a sunken treasure rumored to be lost in the depths of the Black Sea. As greed and desperation take control onboard their claustrophobic vessel, the increasing uncertainty of the mission causes the men to turn on each other to fight for their own survival. Directed by McDonald and written by British stage and TV writer Dennis Kelly, "Black Sea" is a tense, efficiently made, dark and well-acted drama that provides a handful of well-staged, breathless moments, particularly in the last act. Law, a dashing leading man who looks considerably older here, is convincing as the driven, off-kilter captain who'll do anything for some gold and to better himself. He headlines a fine supporting cast of mostly familiar character actors, including the always-good (and native Dallasite) Scoot McNairy ("Argo") as a real slimeball, Australian actor Ben Mendelshon and British actor Karl Davies, the most memorable of the crew members. Not everything works perfectly, though: the initial chapters are a tad slow, and the climax, considering the lead character's desire to become a better person, is a tad anti-climactic and even predictable. Even with its flaws, the powerful submarine thriller "Black Sea" is an action film that's still worthwhile, and a nice change of pace for the cinematic dumping ground that is known as January.