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| Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson |
"San Andreas" is big, dumb and entertaining: lots of shakes, loads of cheese
I offer no spoilers (as if you need any) for the new disaster movie "San Andreas," but I can tell you the cause of this movie's earthquake, and it has nothing to do with tectonic plates, but rather the mountain of cheese that explodes over California, providing enough melted cheddar for your nachos and then some. Big, dumb and entertaining in a guilty-pleasure, big cheesy movie sorta way with its visuals clearly its most memorable aspect, "San Andreas" would've been a lot more fun if those in it didn't take it so darn seriously - in other words, it's never a good sign when you root for the earthquake. After a devastating earthquake hits California, a Los Angeles Fire Department rescue-helicopter pilot (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and his ex-wife (Carla Gugino) attempt to leave Los Angeles and head to San Francisco to find and rescue their estranged daughter (Alexandra Daddario), though a noted scientist (Paul Giamatti) has warned everyone of another, stronger earthquake coming and impending doom. Directed by Brad Peyton ("Journey to the Center of the Earth 2") and written by "Lost's" Carlton Cuse, the big-budgeted disaster flick "San Andreas" is never dull, full of ridiculous, action-packed sequences and heavy doses of perfectly-scripted CGI with buildings that tumble just at the right second, fitting in perfectly with the summer crowd: if you like your shakes with a lot of cheese and exploding, crumbling and tumbling things, this is your movie. It may usher in a new series of disaster-movies that were popular in the 1970's ("The Towering Inferno" was my favorite), including the 1974 hit "Earthquake," which starred the 1970's version of The Rock, Charlton Heston and groundbreaking, Oscar-winning special effects. The 2015 version is much like that film, in that the earthquake itself is the real star of the show, with the bland, lackluster human drama, not to mention the preposterous science of it all, on much shakier ground. The Rock himself seems to be a good fit here, but he and Gugino, along with Giamatti (taking on the George Kennedy/Ernest Borgnine role), take it far, far too earnestly, gritting their teeth and spouting bad dialogue such as "it's going to rip California in half" and of course, one of the most overused lines in movie history, "don't quit on me!" I almost did, though, in one sequence involving riding a tsunami in a boat that was so ridiculous I turned to a friend during a recent screening, who was also laughing, and I said "really?" They may not be able to warn of earthquakes in real life, but I can cinematically forewarn you of your expectations: you'll get your money's worth in the mindlessly entertaining disaster flick "San Andreas" and won't remember much about it except for those crumbling buildings, toppling over with the weight of all that cheese.
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