Left Behind - D-

Rated PG-13, 110 minutes
Wes's Grade: D-

Shoddy, cheesy "Left Behind" won't make you a believer

When you make a nearly 15-year old straight-to-video movie starring Kirk Cameron look like a masterpiece, you know you're in trouble. The new end times drama "Left Behind" manages to do just that, and is one big cheese ball, with the worst production values and acting I've seen onscreen this year. As a Christian myself, I'm embarrassed for my fellow believers, but mostly embarrassed for Oscar-winner Nicolas Cage, whose career has sunk to a new low with this piece of crap. Without warning, millions of people around the globe simply vanish in the Biblical event called "the Rapture". This causes vehicles to crash, rioting and looting. Airline pilot Rayford Steele (Cage) tries to deal with his hysterical passengers. He also has to try to land his plane when airports are filled with wrecks, as he wonders about his family. Journalist Buck Williams (Chad Michael Murray) struggles to understand this devastating event. Ray's daughter, Chloe (Cassie Thompson), struggles to find her mother and brother. Directed by noted British director Vic Armstrong and co-written by Paul LaLonde and John Patus and based on the popular Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins novels, this shoddy, ham-fisted "Left Behind" won't gain any new followers, which is unfortunate, but it's so bad it's hard to sit through without laughing unintentionally. It seems most of the budget went to Cage's salary, since most of it takes place on a third-rate plane set that shakes periodically, and people running through the streets. According to the film, apparently the Christians were also the smartest group, since it takes an eternity for those left behind to actually figure things out. It would've at least been more fun if Cage, who can overact with the best of them, would've done some scenery chewing or stomping around as he likes to do, instead (and quite remarkably), he sleepwalks through the film, making "Left Behind" not only cheesy bad, just unwatchable and boring bad. The aforementioned 2000 Kirk Cameron film of the same name was a bad movie too, but it looks like a Best Picture winner compared to this cheeseball, which also features Lea Thompson and "American Idol" winner Jordin Sparks. My advice to my fellow Christians who want to tell others about the end times is: don't make them see the awful "Left Behind." Talk to them, take them to coffee - just anything but see this movie - which is one of the worst movies of 2014 and should easily take home a few Razzie Awards.