Poltergeist - D

Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt

Rated PG-13, 93 minutes
Wes's Grade: D

There's lots missing in the bland "Poltergeist" remake, including scares

The 1982 Steven Spielberg-produced horror classic "Poltergeist" was one of the first horror films to truly scare the heck out of me as a pre-teen, not to mention I remember the last 20 minutes throwing the movie theater in total disarray. The bland, bloodless remake of "Poltergeist" may instead put you to sleep; in spite of the influence from its producer, horror film legend Sam Raimi, this is really just a banal, non-scary cheesefest. Here, the classic tale is reimagined about the Bowen family (led by Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt) whose suburban home is haunted by evil forces. When the terrifying apparitions escalate their attacks and hold the youngest daughter captive, the family must come together to rescue her before she disappears forever. Directed by Gil Kenan ("Monster House") and written by Pulitzer Prize winner David Linsday-Abaire ("Rabbit Hole"), the 2015 version of "Poltergeist" has a few nice touches and serviceable special effects, but is sorely lacking the scares and emotional connection the 1982 classic, directed by Tobe Hooper (of the original "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"). The original slowly moved you into the action to establish the characters, this one plunges you literally feet first with the ghosts, without building a strong family bond and thus the effort to release the youngest daughter from the evil spirits lacks the chills and fun the original had (the clowns aren't even that scary here). What's also missing in this update is two things that made the first one so memorable: unique, diminutive character actress Zelda Rubenstein, also on the TV show "Picket Fences," who played the medium, and that muddy, unfinished swimming pool that made for such a terrifying climax, while here, we get stoic British character actor Jared Harris as TV-based medium, a big tree and a Mini Cooper that speeds away from the action. Rockwell is one of my favorite actors and gets in a few good lines, while DeWitt is a warm mother, but otherwise the cast doesn't seem to gel. When you remake such a scary classic as "Poltergeist" you run the risk of it possibly being better than the original or being truly awful. The reimagined "Poltergeist" doesn't run the risk of either, as it's just a middling, vapid effort with few scares to offer. Skip this and rent the original instead.