The "Fantastic Four" series has always been the awkward stepchild of the Marvel Universe, primarily because it's the lone adaptation held by 20th Century Fox, who has been unable to develop a truly great, smart story around it. The new contemporary reboot, the second in 10 years, is no exception and still can't seem to get it right: while this downbeat, dull version is an improvement in some aspects of casting and visuals, the bland, dumb story never really gels into any sense of coherency or style on an "Avengers" level. This new version centers on four young outsiders - Reed (Miles Teller), Johnny (Michael B. Jordan), Sue (Kate Mara) and Ben (Jamie Bell) who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways, as well as transforming another colleague, Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) into an exceedingly dangerous, evil being. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy. Directed and co-written by Josh Trank ("Chronicle"), "Fantastic Four" is far from fantastic on most levels, bland and mindlessly enjoyable, but its muddled story (I'm still trying to figure it out) never fully takes off. The first solid hour is spent on backstory and leads up to one of the silliest climaxes of recent memory, never fully explaining Dr. Doom's real intentions on taking over the world - it has to do with some alternate planet/life form sucking all of the life from Earth. All in all, it's an unfortunate mess and a considerable disappointment given the time and funds spent casting some talented actors and creating some serviceable special effects, both of which are an improvement over the first two cheesy "FF" films. Teller and Jordan are in particular likable actors, and they also do a decent job with recreating "The Thing" but this "Fantastic Four" is ruined by an awful script, Trank's terrible direction (he is over his head here, and is no Joss Whedon), lack of chemistry between the four leads and slow-as-molasses pacing; the boring first act in particular may put you to sleep, with a baffling climax that gets sillier by the minute, with no help from the bland Kebbell of "War Horse" and "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes," who is woefully miscast as the dynamic Dr. Doom. This all seems one long set up for future films, but "Fantastic Four," which has a few entertaining moments but still a big misfire, will likely go the one-and-done "Green Lantern" route. On that note, this is easily the worst superhero film since that Ryan Reynolds stinker, and one to skip for sure.
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